Commencement

In two days I will graduate from Northfield Mount Hermon school, after 4 years, 3 of which I attended with Jesse. My last semester here, which began with losing Jesse, is now over, and I'll no longer be a part of this place where I got to know him. Almost exactly a year ago, he walked the stage in his cap and gown, and got his diploma, just as thousands have done before him, and I and thousands more will do. I always assumed that he would be at my graduation, because one expects their dear friends and family members to be there. Jesse was a part of my NMH family, and although it isn't true, it feels like I'm severing one more tie to him. Even after an entire semester, I haven't been able to come to grips with the fact that Jesse is gone. It just seems oppressively unfortunate that he is always going to be somewhere other than me. As I say goodbye to people who I spent so long with in school, and who I may never see again, it reminds me of this- unbearably sad that we are all going to scatter and live and be in places other than NMH. I miss Jesse terribly still, and I don't expect it will ever get easier, only more and more familiar.
Best wishes to all,
Ruth Shafer